Relationships
- Creating Intimacy
Intimacy and Sex - Excerpt from Better Health
Channel
"For many couples, ‘making love’ involves a sense of
intimacy and emotional closeness. An intimate sexual relationship involves
trust and being vulnerable and potent with each other. Closeness during
sex is also linked to other forms of intimacy.
It is important to share a whole range of emotions with a partner,
otherwise some people begin to feel lonely and isolated regardless of
how good their sexual experiences may be. Explore ways to share love
and affection without sex. Often, the more a couple is intimate with
each other in ways other than sex, the more fulfilling their sex life
becomes."
Why
do you have sex? - All men are liars, smh.com.au
"Do you have sex for the act or the intimacy it brings? Is it
the physical sensation that attracts you, the emotions it summons or
both?
Maybe sex is not about you at all but because it satisfies your partner
and fulfills your perceived role as a lover? Perhaps you do one-nighters
with randoms for acceptance or for the exact opposite; so you can be
rejected, to prove all you're good for is sex and not much else?
It could be you're the religious type and your sex is solely for procreation
or, you're "trying for a baby" and copulation has become just
that - trying - a chore where you never expected it to be?
From a scientific standpoint, reproduction would seem to be the evolutionary
reason for sex, an involuntary instinct; but if this is the case, how
come so many of us can override the impulse and never have children?
Why then does the huge majority of human intercourse not result in fertilisation?
...
The typical couple will shag at least a hundred times a year and if
you plot that over a lifetime it means the average human will have have
sex many thousands of times - yet the bulk of us produce only one or
two children.
Obviously we've been programmed to keep trying until we get it right,
which is why sex has been linked to perhaps the most enjoyable sensation
we can have as an animal - the orgasm."
Sex:
Cure for the blues? Relationships, Life and Style, smh.com.au
"Depressed women have more sex than those who are happier, regardless
of whether they are in a relationship or not, a study of Australians
has found.
A survey of Melbourne women presented at an international mental health
conference has concluded that females who suffer from mild to moderate
depression have a third more sexual activity than those who are not.
They also had more sexually liberated attitudes, a bigger variety of
sexual experiences and, if single, were more likely to partake in casual
sex, Dr Sabura Allen, a clinical psychologist at Monash University,
said."
How
to Explore Sexual Touch - Increasing Sexual Intimacy Through
Touch
"Exploring sexual touch with your partner can be a wonderful way
to deepen sexual intimacy, and discover new aspects of your own (and
your partner's) sexuality. Sexual touch is not about orgasm, it's about
exploration. Try not to think of it as another technique to get to some
end point. Some people consider this kind of exploration to be "energy
work" or "spiritual sex", but it isn't necessary to name
it in that way order to do it."
- Cory Silberberg, About.com
Sensual
Touching - BBC, Relationships - Sex and Sexual Health
"By discovering how responsive your bodies are to certain sensations
you and your partner can heighten your potential for sexual arousal.
Psychosexual therapist Paula Hall describes an exercise to help you
do just this."
What's
your Sex IQ? - Try this online quiz from ABC Health and
Wellbeing
15 questions to test your sex IQ - score is revealed on completion.
Your results are confidential unless you choose to share your experience
with a friend!
Guide
to Safer Sex - BBC - Relationships - Sex and Sexual Health
"Helen Knox has advice on a no-nonsense, practical approach to
avoiding sexually-transmitted infections covers the best ways to dodging
chlamydia, gonorrhoea, HIV and other diseases while still having fun."
Is
Sex Better When You're in Love? - BBC - Relationships -
Sex and Sexual Health
"Some people prefer sex as part of a long-term relationship while
others find familiarity a real passion killer. Psychosexual therapist
Paula Hall takes a closer look at casual and committed sex."
Communicating
about Sex - BBC - Relationships - Sex
and Sexual Health
"Talking with your partner about what you like and what you want
can take your sex life in new and fulfilling directions and deepen your
relationship as a whole, says sex and relationships counsellor Suzie
Hayman."
The
G-Spot - BBC - Relationships - Sex and Sexual Health
"The G-spot has always been controversial - some women say it's
essential for orgasms while others say it's non-existent. Psychosexual
therapist Paula Hall looks at how to find it, what to do with it - and
why it doesn't matter if you haven't got one."
Ultrasound
nails location of the elusive G-Spot - From New Scientist
Print Edition, Linda Geddes
Emmanuele Jannini at the University of L'Aquila in Italy has conducted
research using ultrasound to locate a woman's G-spot.
"Jannini accepts that there are limitations to his study. In particular,
the small number of women he studied doesn't allow him to say what proportion
of all women have G spot - although it would seem that a large number
do not.
This tentative conclusion is supported by previous questionnaire-based
studies such as The Hite Report, which found that 70 per cent of women
do not have orgasms through intercourse, but are able to experience
orgasm easily by direct clitoral stimulation."
Following is a video link related to Jannini's research:
Female
orgasm - Keep Faking it? - video clip from smh.com.au 4
March 2008
Video clip discussing the controversial G-Spot and studies carried
out using ultrasound by Emmanuele Jannini. Australian women voice their
views on the small sample of women used in the research which poses
doubts on the validity of the findings.
Orgasms
- Relationships - Sex and Sexual Health
"The orgasm is different for everyone and notoriously hard to
define. Psychosexual therapist Paula Hall explains the physical and
emotional factors involved for men and women, why quality matters more
than quantity and why faking it is a waste of time."
Sex
with a partner is 400% better -
From issue 2540 of New Scientist magazine, 22 February 2006, page 21
"Surprisingly, after orgasm from sexual intercourse, the increase
in blood prolactin levels is 400 per cent higher in both sexes compared
with after orgasm from masturbation (Biological Psychology, vol 71,
p 312).
This explains why orgasm from intercourse is more satisfying than masturbation",
says Stuart Brody of the University of Paisley, UK. "Since elevated
levels of prolactin have been linked to erectile dysfunction, this may
also explain why most men need a recovery period after sex."
Clock's
ticking on sex: 3 minutes - smh.com.au, March 5, 2008,
Life and Style - Relationships
"The best sex should last between seven and 13 minutes, and even
three-minute sex is "adequate", a major survey of US experts
has concluded.
But Australian sex therapists commenting on the new research say most
men Down Under wanted it to last considerably longer while most women
were "not bothered" if it was over with fast.
The sex study is the first to review what the experts believe is the
ideal length of time to have penetrative sex, with the random sample
of Americans and Canadians labelling seven to 13 minutes most "desirable"."
Dirty
Weekend goes upmarket - Travel, smh.com.au
Spicing up your love life can be as simple as creating a romantic atmosphere
at home with a special meal, candles, mood music and flowers - or it
could be as extravagant as the Provocateur package offered at a Sydney
hotel, described in this article found in Sydney Morning Herald Travel
section. It sounds like a truly "over-the-top" experience
for those who can afford it for a special anniversary or honeymoon treat.
No matter how you choose to create the mood - one of the most important
factors in keeping the love alive is to plan special time together for
intimacy to take place. Whether that be for sharing feelings, ideas,
goals for the future, or allowing time for a cuddle and love making
- making the time and creating the opportunity is essential.
It seems to only happen if it is planned - spontaneity
is all very well - so for that to happen the time must be scheduled.
As the saying goes, "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail"!
(No idea of who said that!)
